Action Packed

One thing I struggle with is writing so the action and surroundings meld together in one smooth sentence or two.  Urgency and scenery.  I do not want to spend pages talking about the area.  That becomes dry very fast.  I read a book once where pages and pages were dedicated to the surroundings and I’m not sure how I finished the it.  Apparently the story was compelling enough and I could turn pages fast enough.

Here’s another try at action and scenery.  Can you imagine the scene?

Water from the swollen Dnieper crashed around the pontoon bridge tossing the wagons ahead.  A family in the middle couldn’t keep their wagon straight and lost their possessions in the rough waters.  German soldiers helped push the wagon of a single woman and her parents out of the slimy mud on the riverside. Several families had disappeared in the black water of the night. Susanna swallowed, covered the horses’ heads and pulled the wagon forward.  As she stepped onto the bridge she took a glance at her children in the wagon huddled together under a tarp, clinging to the sides.  Looking across the bridge through the pouring rain, she dropped her chin and pulled the wagon forward.